Part II: Another Chance
In a message dated 10/10/04 3:49 PM: Detoxing from methadone with M- questions about doses
Hope everyone is well. I managed to get my hands on a bunch of morphine 15mg, and am planning on using them to assist me in detoxing from methadone. I have never done this before, so I'm wondering if anyone can make a suggestion regarding doses, regimen, etc....
I have presently weened myself down to 15mg/day of methadone; I want to give my body the chance to excrete most of the methadone, whilst being fairly comfortable in morphine-land. Would two weeks generally be enough time to accomplish this? I plan to do another Ibo Journey after the meth has left my system, as I think I have a better chance of detoxing from morphine than meth.
Thanks, group...I feel privileged to have contact with such an eclectic group of people...Y'all have a great day, ya hear??
In a message dated 10/11/04 9:29 AM: Response - detoxing from methadone with M
Thanks for the good advice. I have done Ibogaine before, but the results were less than satisfactory, and it was TOTALLY MY FAULT. I vomited most of my dose, and did not have a booster, as I thought I was impervious to puking. How wrong I was!
I would NEVER inject time-release morphine; rather, I just chew them. I DON'T want to feel a buzz from the morphine, I would just rather NOT feel methadone withdrawal.
I am to be treated again in about 3 weeks. I'm doing it right this time- I have saved up a bit of money, and will be treated by Andrea here in Toronto. She treated a friend of mine, who is still clean almost 2.5/3 months later.
In a message dated 10/29/04 7:56:39 PM: Second Treatment Complete Success!!!
Oh my God,
I can't believe it- I have been opiate free since Tuesday, 10pm. I had to reschedule my treatment for Wednesday, 12pm, at which time I ingested 350ml of Ibogaine HCL, and 175ml every hour or so thereafter, to 1000mg, total. The music therapy aspect was SO rewarding- it calmed me throughout the whole treatment, and reduced the freakier parts into mere afterthoughts.
Guys/gals, I can't believe the difference between my two treatments. Other than lethargy, low energy, and a few uncomfortable moments(hot/cold flashes, piloerection, periodic insomnia, aches), the last two days have been a breeze. I would say the Ibo treatment reduced my symptoms by 85-90%. I have been able to grab naps for 2-4 hours in duration, and last night I was able to sleep for approximately 6 hours! On the second day after ceasing my opiate intake!
Hot baths and meds really helped too- trazadone and clonidine together seemed to really tranquilize and sedate my body, mind and soul, especially throughout the tougher parts.
I was able to eat a Swiss Chalet quarter chicken dinner yesterday, and have started on a brief, short term regiment of light antidepressants(Wellbutrin 100mg/sr) which have worked miracles with my energy levels. Listening to music is amazing- I have been digging Air, Talvin Singh, the Clash, and of course, Radiohead. Return to Brixton is especially blowing my mind!
In a message dated 10/31/04 11:34 AM: Questions and Answers
1) At how many hours from your start point of taking ibogaine would you say it was fully effective? Around the 3 hour I felt completely anesthetized - no withdrawal, just a bit of yawning.
2) How would you describe "fully effective?" I have never been able to get off opiates this easily. Even though I feel a bit weak and sleepless, I am 100 times better than I would be cold-turkeying. I have a bit of residual withdrawal, but only 10-15% of what I would have had otherwise.
3) Did you visualize?Yes. It came in peaks and valleys, and would usually begin about 30 minutes after my ingestions, and last for 2-3 hours.
4) If so what did you see? This time was a bit darker than last. I still saw strange faces, but also some gruesome scenes- I saw a guy getting decapitated. As his head was severed, his soul 'flew' out of his neck and up to the sky. I also saw a few monsters, and relived/reflected on a few melancholy events from my life.
5) How are you feeling today? Tired, a bit achey, and grumpy. I just took a trazodone, and seem to be feeling a bit better. The insomnia is getting to me, though.
6) Who determined which medications you would take? My doctor gave me trazodone, clonidine, arthrotec, loperamide and gravol. I decided to get a script for Wellbutrin, as it has helped before. However, it seems to perpetuate and inflame the symptoms, so I have discontinued it.
In a message dated 11/02/04 10:11 AM: Opiates & questions
Today is day 7 post-opiates, and I'm still not feeling 100%. The symptoms seem to get worse at nighttime- much worse; however, the days are almost bearable.
It's been four years since I've been clean, and I'm wondering how much longer I am going to have to endure these symptoms: insomnia, hot/cold tingles, extreme lethargy and weakness, and grumpiness/depression.
In a message dated 11/02/04 1:11 PM: Dear X____
Thanks for the very kind and informative post. I believe you are absolutely right- the meds were screwing with my stomach AND accentuating the withdrawal symptoms; thus, I have discontinued all of them. And yes, caffeine seems to wreck havoc on my acutely sensitive system. The only thing I am using now is Sweet Leaf, which seems to work wonders. I luv bud...
I have been sneezing like crazy, too- I guess my system is flooded with histamines. I feel like I have woken from cryogenic stasis, and I have to re-learn the way in which my body and senses operate. Sometimes just one sip of stawverry juice tastes so, urr, 'alive' that I can barely stand it, and my senses go into overload. IT HURTS TO EAT, sometimes. The most ridiculous commercial can bring tears to my eyes.
I guess I am being reborn, so to speak. Beautiful, yet terrifying..............
In a message dated 11/03/04 3:33 PM: Niacin and ginger tea
I think I may have found a remedy for the cold tingles- Niacin. I just took 500ml about 30 minutes ago, and my body is suffused with warmth, and my skin looks flushed and healthy; however, it is a little itchy also.
Niacin is a vasodilator, that not only increases blood flow, but also lowers cholesterol rate. I would highly recommend it to anyone in the post-acute withdrawal phase(post-five/seven days); I myself have spent the last week chilled to the bone, but Niacin seems to have remedied my situation...I can't believe how powerful the Niacin rush is!
The ginger tea recommendation was fab! It's doing wonders for my stomach and my constitution. Thank you very much!
In a message dated 11/05/04 7:59 AM: Music
YES, music during the Ibo experience was amazing!! I listened to mostly instrumental music- lyrics were a bit too distracting. Drone-like music was the best, as was music that I had no "drug association" with. The Icelandic band Mum worked very well, as did 'Mumbai Theme', on the Talvin Singh record. 'Soil Festivities', by Vangelis, was pretty cool too, as was Transmissions from the Planet Dog- the ambient stuff only, not the techno. Future Sound of London caused me to trip my ass off, but in a startlingly dark manner- I visualized monsters and decapitations.
When the effects of Ibo wear off, try listening to soothing, calming music. Any instrumental music, especially with accompanying nature sounds, gave my body shivers during the post-Ibo phase. It will relax you, and make any residual withdrawal seem less important. Solitudes compilations are cheesy, but effective, as was 'Musica Poetica' by Orff (from Badlands soundtrack).
My first treatment was music-free, and was not nearly as enlightening or effective as my second, music-infused treatment.
In a message dated 11/05/04 9:23 AM: Dreams
I'm not sure if you have already read it, but "Memories, Dreams, Reflections", by Jung, is a great intro to his life and his philosophies.
I have done Ibo two times now: once on my own, and once with a therapist. I would highly recommend NOT doing it on your own- so many potential problems may arise. When I self-treated, I basically screwed up the process, and ended up wasting $425 dollars (Ibo HCL is not cheap), not to mention the fact that I had to get right back on methadone, which was a real piss-off. The second time around, I paid about $1000 (which put a dent in my pocketbook, but was worth it!) for my treatment, and I have been clean of all opiates for 10 days now. I can't tell you how liberating it feels to be off the 'done- I feel like I'm coming back to life, like I have been reborn.
In a message dated 11/06/04 6:36 PM: Opiates made me more tolerant
Maybe opiates were just filtering out aspects of certain people's personalities. When I was strung out, I could hang out with people who were clearly incompatible with my personality, my beliefs...I could also nod out in front of the tv for eight hours, not to mention partake in dubious activities to finance my 'needs'. Opiates made me more tolerant of situations, more comfortable in my boredom and malaise. They made me NUMB.
Now, I feel like my perceptions, senses, and emotions are coming to life again. Do you feel the same way? Perhaps opiates ARE the quintessential 'rose coloured glasses'; I have heard that the poppy was referred to as 'the joy plant' by a particular culture, that I can't- for the life of me- remember.
We need to find natural ways to recreate opiate bliss. Sorry I'm rambling on, but I can relate to what you're saying. Try new things, new sensations; meet new people...Start anew. And remember, your body is re-regulating itself, so you might now feel/perceive things the same way in a few months, weeks, daze.
In a message dated 11/08/04 8:54 AM: 13 days since my treatment
It's been 13 days since my treatment, and I am just now starting to feel much better. Melatonin has put a serious dent in my insomnia- I started taking it yesterday, and within 20-40 minutes I am usually sleeping/dreaming. It's been 3.5 weeks since my last dose of methadone.
Most of the physical symptoms are gone, with the exception of sneezing, minor lethargy and a few chills/aches. I have virtually NO cravings, which is brilliant, by my standards.
In a message dated 11/09/04 9:00 AM: My boyfriend was my sitter
My boyfriend was my sitter, and he observed within me what appeared to be constant abdominal muscular tension- twisting, discomfort, nausea, and inevitably vomiting. Of all the lingering sensations post-Ibo, an upset stomach/digestive tract was the most noticeable; in fact, my diet has changed tremendously to accomodate this effect and hopefully improve upon it. I used to enjoy 3-4 cups of coffee per day whilst on opiates- now that I'm clean, I'm lucky if I can stomach 1 cup, and even then it is not very enjoyable.
The same applies to alcohol- I just have NO desire to drink. Just thinking about imbibing is usually enough to give myself transient nausea. Not that I'm complaining or anything- it feels great not to crave booze.
I'm wondering if the different types of Ibo preparations (HCL, root bark, alkaloid extract) all have the same effect on the digestive tract/stomach. I think Howard once said that his best Ibo experience came from the alkaloid extract- now why that is, I can't quite remember.
In a message dated 11/10/04 12:34 PM: I'm sorry Ibo didn't seem to work
I'm sorry Ibo didn't seem to work for X____, BUT- have you read all the glowing reports of Ibo success on this list? I, for one, found Ibogaine extremely useful in kicking the habit. You just have to be realistic- there is no single AMAZING CURE for narcotic addiction; there will inevitably be some suffering involved. Ibo reduced my suffering by about 80-85%, in relation to what I have experienced previously.
There is no magic pill, no secret elixir, that will take away 100% of the symptoms, and believing otherwise is foolish and deluded. In addition, taking Ibo unsupervised/on my own did NOTHING for me at all, except waste $425 dollars(Canadian). I would highly recommend booking a treatment with someone experienced, compassionate and insightful. There are many treatment providers throughout the world who could be of assistance to your son. Methadone is NOT the answer, but rather a temporary solution. It is more addictive than heroin, less fun, and completely numbing. In retrospect, methadone made me feel like a zombie.
You are entitled to your own opinions politically and otherwise; however, to believe the government is actually going to approve Ibogaine for the treatment of narcotic addiction, is, quite simply, a foolish and misinformed notion. Please do some research...
In a message dated 11/13/04 4:02 PM: I still tested positive
After 3.5 weeks of no methadone, I still tested positive for it during my urinalysis- something to think about. The weakness eventually does get better- tell him that low-impact exercise really seemed to help a lot.
In a message dated 11/13/04 7:06 PM: My dreams have been fantastic!
My dreams have been fantastic! Very colourful, very vivid. very exciting...I'm wondering if it's the influence of the Ibo, or perhaps juat the absence of the dope. I have been dreaming of long journeys, large bodies of water, and the small town I grew up in. I have also been dreaming of fantastic sex with alien gods(seriously!), and magical doorways on the sides of mountains, that lead to strange and exotic places. So far, no dreams of using...And not one single nightmare(knock on wood)...
In a message dated 11/14/04 7:06 PM: I was a prisoner
I'm 26, but I alternate between 18 and 50, depending on the circumstances... I think my circadian rhythm is still screwed up, and this is why I have such vivid recollections of my dreams. I can get to the deep sleep, but when the cycle starts again, and I return to lighter levels, my body automatically wakes up.
Last night I dreamed I was a prisoner in an internment camp, nested between two huge mountains. I had a daughter that was at least my own age (I have no kids), and a husband that was imprisoned in the male section. Anyone trying to escape was shot either through the heart or the neck with a flaming arrow. My last memory of the dream, before I awoke, was of running furiously, out the front gate of the prison; running so fast I could feel and smell the perspiration on my skin! Has anyone else experienced vivid smells, colours, etc..? I've heard we only dream in black and white, but I don't believe this at all.
In a message dated 11/15/04 5:40 PM: I find the concept of past lives intriguing
I have always viewed dreams as a mixture of the literal, the metaphorical, and the symbolic. Dreams of escaping from an internment camp could also be my body's metaphoric release from addiction. Dreams of my childhood town could be the expression of my body/mind's desire to return to the pre-addiction state.
I find the concept of past lives intriguing and highly romantic, but ultimately, er, unproveable. Part of me wants to embrace the notion of past lives, as it would mean the immortality of my soul, but the scientific, skeptical part of me resists.
Perhaps dreams are a synthesis of the two: memories of your past lives, that are appropriate to our present physical/psychological state- in other words, the message we need WHEN we need it...
Read Part I: Ibogaine- why didn't it work?
Art by the writer: "Tunnel"
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The Ibogaine Dossier