The Ibogaine Dossier
The Ibogaine Dossier

NYU Conference on Ibogaine Nov 5-6, 1999

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The Ibogaine Dossier

The anecdotal reports on this page have not been verified by The Ibogaine Dossier.

An Ibogaine Experience

The first time I heard about Ibogaine I knew it was what I wanted. I was so intrigued by the stories I had read and then by the things directly related to me from people who had actually been fortunate enough to find it. The more I read, researched, heard, the more I knew this was what I had been searching for my whole life. I have never been addicted to any kind of opiates but I most certainly have had my trials with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and coffee. The way I heard about ibogaine was in my search for a REAL treatment of opiate addiction for my husband. One day I was told to go to the web and look up Ibogaine. Ever since I read the dossier that day I have been on a mission to find it.

The search seemed to go on forever and never materialized into anything but dead-ends. I could not afford the initial $17,000 price tag that it held and was convinced that there had to be a cheaper way to obtain the precious root. My god!! You can walk through the "drug" area of any city and find more heroin and more people willing to sell it to you than a couple of green buds these days. But try to find the alkaloids of an african plant and you run into a brick wall every where you turn. After being fortunate enough to finally find it, I now understand why the powers that be are terrified that such a mind opening, knowledge bearing plant ever be let loose in society. We just might win this drug problem that seems to plague us.

I had to travel to a foreign country where experimental use of the plant is not yet illegal. That was a TRIP in itself. On my first full day I took 25mg of Plant Total Alkaloid (PTA) which contains 75% ibogaine. I could feel a new sensation in my body--one that I had never felt before. It was not uncomfortable, just different from any other drug I had used before, and I have experimented with many. Besides the strange new sensation in my body, I had no other effects.

Day 2: I took 50mg of PTA with slightly more sensation in my body than the day before and this time a kind of amphetamine jumpiness but still no other effects.

Day 3: I took 100mg of PTA in the morning and this time had some fuzziness in my head and the body sensations were much more intense. Later that afternoon I took another 100mg and within an hour of taking the second dose I began to feel an intense trip coming on. Smells and noises became much clearer and more pronounced. My head began to feel as if it were being packed with knowledge and there was so much going on that I wasn't sure what was happening. I began to see things. The first really intense thing I saw was myself running through the rainforest of Africa with members of my bwiti family. It seemed I ran forever until I came upon the largest Eboka tree ever. I "knew" it was the grandfather of all the eboka plants. That it had shed its seeds to allow for more plants to grow and prosper in the rainforest. It was more like an enormous shrub. When I approached the tree, I could see dancing gazelles in its huge leafy branches. Dancing and spinning and laughing and sharing their knowledge of ages past. As their eyes would meet mine, I would understand something new---I call this "the knowing". A way of being given knowledge directly into my brain. Or maybe opening up the locked doors of my mind that already existed. Knowledge from ages past. Time seemed to go fast and then very slow. I lost about four hours and I am not very sure what happened because time was irrelevant. I wondered why I had been chosen for this journey and was told or "knew" that it was just the way that it was supposed to be. I am special and was given this gift for specific reasons although I am still not sure of all of those reasons. The next visuals were not as long or intense. I was with an egyptian woman dressed as I know to be royalty. The gold and jeweled head dress and neckwear. She showed me things that I can't even describe in english. This was another "knowing" session. I also went somewhere and was walking alongside a king with a large jeweled crown and long purple robe. This king sent more knowledge to me also. The last visual I experienced was of myself walking with the sacred cows of India. I was a sacred white cow and was shown more knowledge from the viewpoint of a sacred animal. This visual caused me to struggle with my eating meat and is still a physical and mental struggle for me.

At that point I wasn't sure if I would ever be given the opportunity to use ibogaine again but I was told/shown that I needed to go further. I had seen, been shown a knowledge I never realized existed. It has always been there inside of me, tempting, tormenting me in this life. Ibogaine was the key to unlocking that knowledge.

I have not mentioned the fact that while all of this was going on, my husband had begun his own journey into the world of Ibogaine. It was very hard on me emotionally and pieces of our life and relationship began to surface in the form of strong visions in which I had to make some choices. It was the "knowing". I began to sob as I had to begin the process of letting go of him emotionally. I knew I could no longer carry the weight of his addiction on my shoulders. I had to let go of the burden and responsibility of his choices and his choice of using opiates. I expressed this verbally and could not believe the weight that was lifted. I was finally free. I have my own theories about ibogaine but I "know" them to be truth and not theories now. Later that night I fell asleep and had the most incredible, colorful vision of my entire trip so far. I was with my husband and we entered a huge house/church/castle --- I am having trouble describing it in words. We had been told that the house was haunted? evil? a place where no one returns? I'm not really sure. But there was an old man who had owned/lived/built this place and would not allow anyone to claim it. He had died or left it and it had fallen into ruin. There was a huge dome in the roof that had an ornate metal cover over the window looking up into the sky. It was black as night and I wondered why I couldn't see the light that should be shining through it. Immediately I "knew" that the "old man" was up in that cover blocking the light and no one had been able to figure it out. I asked him to please show me the light. He came out and told me he was pleased that I had finally discovered the truth and that he was giving me the house/church or maybe I should say kingdom to repair. It was our gift to rebuild this life. And the light shone through. This is what I choose to call my finding "God". I awoke and relayed this to my husband. I spent a while awake thinking about these things I had been shown. Then I fell asleep and had a good nights rest.

Day 4: I didnt take any Ibogaine the next morning. I wanted to talk with my guides about doing a large dose to go further. It didn't work out so I ended up taking another small dose of 200mg PTA. I once again experienced the body sensations and the jumpiness. My mind was a little fuzzy but I knew that I hadn't taken enough to go any further. It certainly didn't have the same effect as the two separate 100mg doses. I slept very well again which surprised everyone who has used it themselves. I was also extremely hungry which is not normal when using Ibogaine. I was a special case indeed.

Day 5: I didn't take any Ibogaine at all. Instead I spent the day as a tourist.

Day 6: After discussing with my guides my need to go further we had arranged for my largest dose to be taken that day. Because I am female and I dont weigh very much, and the fact that I am not an opiate addict, my guides were concerned with the amount I should take. We decided to try a dose of 500mg. It was my choice to use the PTA or to use the pure Ibogaine. I decided on the pure Ibogaine. Everything went smoothely. However, I didn't experience the same kind of things that most people who use it do. I was very restless and it was difficult for me to remain lying down flat. I felt like talking about some of the things going on in my head and I was starving. I "knew" that I hadnt taken enough and after 2 hours I asked if I could take more. I was given another 200mg of pure Ibogaine. I again laid down in the bed and began to visualize. The most important vision to relay dealt with my addiction to cigarettes. I saw myself putting a cigarette out in an ashtray and was asked if I was willing to let go. I was not willing at that point. The ashtray became a metal tube--a sewage pipe--and I was pulled downward still clutching the cigarette butt in my fingers. I was asked again if I was willing to let go and I was not. I was being pulled faster and faster and was spinning as I was being "flushed" down the sewer still unwilling to let go of it. I was beginning to feel nauseous from the spinning and force of being pulled further downward. I knew that cigarettes were going to make me sick. But I refused to let go. I then opened my eyes and sat up to stop the vision since I had made my choice not to let go at that time. I got up and out of bed a couple of hours later to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom I decided to go out and have a cigarette. Before I could reach the table where they were, I began to throw up. So I decided that I better not try to smoke---at least until I felt better. I could taste the root coming up and my guide was disappointed that he wouldnt be able to analyze it to find out how much of the root I actually lost. It didnt taste as bad as everyone had warned me about. I actually think liquid goldenseal is about the worst tasting herb I have ever tried. I laid back down because I was feeling sick and told my guide that I would be fine alone with my husband and that I just wanted to sleep. So he left us and I slept until early the next morning when I awoke and got up. I was still tired and wanted more sleep but we were leaving early on a train to visit another place and be tourists again, so I stayed awake until later that afternoon and fell asleep for a while on the train. That was my last dose, I decided not to take anymore.

I wish to dose again in the future because I feel like I need another chance to go further. But even if I never do get the chance again, I am satisfied with all the information and knowledge I acquired from those 5 days.


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